He IS Javy, Not My Brother

They told me today —they're skipping my start in the rotation —Friday, in Boston... hmmm...

granted, I stink like some week-old mierda —But... I haven't been given a fair shake like my

dad used to shake me, and His father before him... I'll have you know that I come from a long line of whipping boys... anyhow, what to do with my day off Thursday up in beantown —Hey, I know! I'm going to visit Martha's Vineyard. I want to see the new Windmills they have built into the sea... just off the Kennedy Compound. I read somewhere that the one that died last year fought very hard to stop them from building these Windmills and blocking his view... well, every once in a while, life throws you a curveball... I only wish I hadn't throw that one to Konerko last Saturday... OK... I'm going to go visit the windmills, wow —if the Kennedy's were still alive, I might've been able to, like —take target practice with them and shoot at the Windmills —Hell...

It would be nice to see if even a bullet from a gun would go where I intended it to go... ahhh, I really don't have any clue...What's wrong... What to do? Wait! I have lots of money... What if... hmmm... better keep it quiet... What if (shhhhh) I pay off all the umpires in the league... pay'em big money to call any close pitch that isn't hit out of the park a strike... maybe —then, I could have just a wee bit of confidence that I would be able to get through one inning without putting my team in an early hole... nahhhhhh... Disabled List is the only place to go, and before I'm to make my next start at Yankee Stadium... Well... I get two hard bullpen sessions before my next start in Detroit... Maybe I can hit myself with a pitch in the ankle... I'd have to aim for my groin —yeah... then maybe I could hit my ankle —OK...first bullpen session... hit self in ankle with pitch... ankle swells... miss one month... then go from there...

I can't get anybody out... Not even this strange litle kid who's been in my locker since I got here —Why, I mean... I can't even get this strange kid out of my locker... That's how bad it is...Well... If worse comes to worse, I'll see if Granderson can ttrade me his groin pull for a Hamstring to be named later... Later... Over & Out.